The Jewel Beetle
by AzraelOokamiHanyou
Summary: The first installment of the Kale Chronicles. Kale tries to capture the elusive Jewel Beetle. Will he do it before someone else does?


An_An__imal Crossing's_ Fanfic.

Disclaimer: I do not own Animal Crossing. Well… technically I do own the game, which is the reason I'm writing this fic, but that's not what I mean. The game really belongs to Miyamoto-sama and all off the other wonderful staff members at Nintendo who helped create the game. I also do not own Inuyasha; which belongs to the lovely Rumiko Takahashi.

The Jewel Beetle

It was a day like any other day in the Animal Crossing town known as Shesha. All of the animals were waking at there respected times. One human in particular, Kale, was used to waking up at unreasonable hours of the day; normally after 2:00pm. But today was different. Today Kale was up with the sun; which made sense seeing as he didn't sleep at all that night. He wasn't sure if it was the thirty-two _Pixie Stix_ he ate or the three liter bottle of _Pepsi_ that he downed which kept him awake for so long, but he didn't particularly care at the moment. Today was a new day. Which meant it was another chance for Kale to try and best his neighbor, Sai.

In the beginning Kale was the leading citizen, the main patron of the town of Shesha. However, as time lagged on Kale became a lazy bum and his neighbor, Sai, took over. Kale would not stand for this and therefore vowed to someday regain his so-called title as leading citizen of Shesha. He was the first human to move in after all. 

So Kale decided to search for a new insect/fish/whatnot to find and give to the babbling owl otherwise known as Blathers. He pried himself off of the bed that he was trying to sleep in earlier and noticed the sodas and sugar left a very bad taste in his mouth.

"Hmm… I guess I should wash my mouth out first." He thought out loud as he rose. "Wait a sec! I don't have a sink! I don't even have a toilet! Where the heck am I supposed to relieve myself?! I certainly can't go behind the bush near my house. That gyroid is so temperamental…" He silently cursed his luck and went downstairs.

            Kale wondered what was wrong with him. Who wouldn't buy a bathroom for their house? He wouldn't of course; believed it took up too much room. _Now what? I guess I can wash my face off at the stream…_ He thought.

            So he left his house at half past seven and headed towards the stream to the right of his house (if you were exiting it). Trying not to make much noise he passed his neighbors' houses. Unfortunately he wasn't as quiet as he hoped as a twig snapped beneath his feet, alerting a certain chubby herbivorous mammal whom he hated with a passion.

"KALE!! Like, where the freakin' heck have you been, Imsophat!?  I've never seen you up so early before. Are you going to go to the aerobics class Copper is holding, Imsophat? I think it's, like, already over." Kale mentally cursed once again that day.

"No, Bubbles, I'm not going to the aerobics class. I'm going to the stream right over there, K?" Bubbles looked at him for a moment, as if she didn't understand the language he used. "OK?"

"Oh, OK!! Like, why didn't you say so in the first place, Imsophat?" Kale tried not to scowl.

"I would have if you let me…" Bubbles nodded happily not exactly paying attention to her neighbor. "Right… I'll be going now. Later." Bubbles waved obnoxiously as he passed her house to the stream nearby. _Why am I always cursed with these moronic freaks for neighbors?_ He wondered angrily.

            After washing his sticky face and rinsing out his mouth, Kale crossed the bridge to the other side of the northern part of town, not wanting to talk to the fat hippo again. He remembered the day she moved in. He had just received a letter from Lulu, the most hideous, horrible, fat hippo Kale had ever seen, saying that she had moved away. While jumping for joy, he had nearly cried tears of extreme happiness. Kale was overjoyed to finally be rid of her and excited to see who the new Shesha resident would be.

Unfortunately that person happened to be an equally ugly and fat hippo named Bubbles. She even had the nerve to move into the same exact spot Lulu lived, near the river. Kale wondered if he was cursed by some evil god with a vendetta against him. No one should be made to suffer that much. Bubbles even acted like Lulu in personality and Kale had wondered for awhile if it was truly another person or Lulu with brown skin instead of purple.

As he stood up, Kale went over the town's current residents in his head. _Let's see… there's Joey who lives down in acre D-4 and Daisy down in acre F-2. Oh yes, then there's Gaston who lives over here in B-1 and Pudge too. Jeremiah lives in C-2 and Ricky lives below him in D-2. …Bubbles lives right there_ He thought pointing_ in B-2 with Cobb. Cupcake; that wench; lives in C-5 below __Rio__ who lives in B-5. Ah… Yuka who is much like Cupcake lives next to Belle the fruit and they live in E-4. Jay lives in C-4 and Kiki lives in C-1.__An__d last but not least, Joey and Chevre live in acre D-4._

"Why am I thinking a bout all this crap when I should be out besting Sai?!" Kale wondered aloud. Not expecting an answer he bounded past Gaston and Pudge's houses and down to the southern part of town. "I should be able to find something down here."

He looked at the trees around him and saw nothing. He then looked at the brush next to him; again nothing. He looked up at the sky and saw a few clouds.

"Well… at least it's nice out today. What is there that needs yet to be found? I know Sai doesn't have all of the bugs… or… FISH! That's it! I can find a fish he doesn't have!"

            So he busted out his fishing pole and walked over to the river. He saw Kiki over by the waterfall's edge. He decided to be nice and say hello.

"Hey, Kiki. How are ya?"

"Oh, hey there, kittycat! I'm alright, how're you?" She replied happily, fishing pole in hand. Kale sat down next to her.

"Pretty good." _Considering I haven't slept in 19 and a half hours_. "What're you up to? The fishing contest isn't for a long time now." Kiki nodded before responding.

"I know, I'm just practicing. Are you trying to make some money or are you adding to your collection?"

"Adding to my collection, I guess." Kale said thoughtfully while putting bait on his line and casting it into the water. "I heard there were some pretty good fish here by the waterfall. What do you think?"

"Yeah, I think that's pretty true. I found some really big bass here." Kale nodded; although bass weren't exactly what he was aiming for. "How many fish do you think live here, kittycat? I mean, I know different ones come at different times of the day and seasons, but how many in all?"

"Wouldn't know until I catch them all, I guess." was his semi vague response. _I don't particularly care either…_ "So… Have you seen Sai today?" He asked trying to make conversation. Kiki shook her head.

"No. I don't think he's up yet, kittycat." Kale secretly smiled. _ Good now I have a head start!_ "Why do you ask? Kale?... Kale, are you paying attention?"

"What?" Kiki shook her head in shame. "'Smatter?"

"You were ignoring me, kittycat! That's what the matter is!"

"Oh… sorry." Just then Kale's bobber sunk and his line went taut. "Hey! I got a bite!" He said excitedly. _Hopefully it's something Sai doesn't have! _He reeled it in after a short struggle and found that it was a Giant Snakehead. "Yeah! A giant snakehead! Who names these things anyway? Aw, who cares?! I got a fish!"  Kiki looked at him oddly.

"Uh… yeah… that's great, Kale. I'm happy for you, really." Kale ignored her, too happy about his freshly obtained scaly friend. "Right."

"Whoo-hoo! Yeah, I'm the bomb! I got a giant snakehead! Do a dance!" Kiki rose slowly to her feet with a frightened look on her face and slowly slinked away. "Hey Kiki! Kiki? Where'd ya go? Oh well!"

            Happily Kale waltzed through the town towards the museum, a huge smile plastered on his face. Suddenly Cupcake approached him.

"Hey there, chimp. It looks like you got a giant snakehead… can I have it?"

"Heh, yeah right! I need this fish OK?" Ignoring him, Cupcake grabbed the fish and placed a smelly old shirt in its place. "What the frig? What the heck do you think you're doing?!"

"Thanks for the trade, chimp! Bye bye!" And with that she ran for all she was worth. Kale gave her a good chase, but in the end landed not so nicely on his face.

"Ooof! Dangit! Get back here you stupid bear!! I'll get you!" He screamed while eating dirt. "Crap…"

"What on earth is your problem?" Said a feminine voice from behind. Confused, Kale turned around quickly.

"Lily?"

"Duh. What are you doing yelling at Cupcake for?" At that Kale glared remembering the pink bear. "Kale?"

"That stupid freak stole that fish I was going to give to Blathers!" Lily laughed before responding.

"Kale… Sai already turned in the giant snakehead as a specimen. Didn't you know that?"

"Frick it! I should have known! Of course he would!" Lily just sighed in response. "Now what do I do? I need to best Sai somehow…"

"Whatever, Kale…" With that, Lily, Kale's human neighbor, left him to wallow in self pity. He rose shortly after and paced a few steps.

"What to do, what to do? I need to find something to take to Blathers that he doesn't already have. But what?" As he thought and pondered and wondered, Kale didn't notice he was walking closer to the ocean's edge. And for some odd reason, he didn't seem to notice he was walking in the sand either. Most likely to serve as a plot device for me. So that's why he ended up with ocean water half way up to his knees.

"This day keeps getting better and better." He mumbled to no one in particular. Looking up at the sky he decided it was near nine o' clock in the morning. It was still pretty early in the day; maybe Sai wasn't even up yet… maybe. Walking out of the water Kale started to think up a plan or at least tried to.

"That stupid cicada!! I'm going to kill it!" He said in a fit of rage and swung at the poor defenseless bug that was sitting on a tree. "Die, die, die, you freak from hell! Burn!!" He yelled as the insect flew up into the sky, away from its psychotic assaulter. Never in its short life had it been so afraid of a human.

            Once his frustration died down a bit, Kale resumed his thought process. First he had to warm up his brain a bit. Looking to his left he saw a bug on a tree. Thinking it was his cicada nemesis, he charged it with new found rage.

"You want some too, eh?!! Well come on! Let's go!" He said full of anger and hatred, though I really can't see why he would be so mad a bug. Upon reaching the tree he noticed it wasn't making any noise and noticed as it was flying away that it wasn't a cicada, but a bluish-green beetle with a red stripe. "Huh? What was that thing?" He wondered forgetting altogether to stop. Something akin to the sound of all the bones in someone's body breaking resounded throughout the forest and even turned a few heads.

"What do ya think that was, peepinator?" Jeremiah asked

"Not sure, chatterer. Sounded strangely like someone just broke every bone in their body." was Ricky's reply. They then commenced with their daily morning activities.

"Oh… that frickin' hurt… really bad." Kale said as soon as he could see straight. "I swear… someone or something is out to get me. I just know it."

            Later on that day after Kale consulted his book of insects, he found that the bug he stupidly chased away was a jewel beetle. Not only that, but it was also a specimen that Sai had yet to catch.

"I CANNOT believe that I let that freakin' bug escape my grasp! It was so crappin' close I could spit on it! Now I have to search all over the dang town for it or another like it!" It really wasn't Kale's day. So far nothing went right for him. But enough pity.

            He picked up his net and walked out his door for the second time that day. It was now 10:30am and the bug hung around until 4:00pm. With that in mind, Kale set off in search of the beetle.

"Gotta find it, gotta find it, gotta find it!" He chanted as he ran through the northern part of town. Rio looked at him oddly as he passed by her house down to the southern part of town once again. "Where are you, you stupid bug!?"

            Two hours passed and still no sign of the "elusive" jewel beetle. Kale was tiring out, but instead of resting he replenished his body of highly caffeinated sodas and sugar.

"Bug, bug, bug, bugbugbugbugbugbugbugbugbugbugbugbugBUG!!!!!!!!! Gotta find it!!! Have to catch the bug!!!! NEED to find the stupid, freaking bug!!" He screamed in a fit of hyperness and something close to fury. His animal neighbors just looked on in wonder and dismay at their friend's loss of sanity.

"Ya think he's been possessed by Naraku again?" Belle asked somewhat frightened.

"No. I think he's just finally lost it, la baa." Chevre answered.

"Yeah and besides, heeeeeyy, Naraku didn't possess him, he posed AS him." Jay added.

"Bug!!! Where are you?? WHERE ARE YOU!!!!???? I NEED YOU!!!" Kale said, almost in tears.

"Um… are you sure he isn't possessed by Naraku again?"

"For cryin' out loud, Belle! Naraku was PRETENDING to BE Kale! Shape-shifting youkai, remember?!"

Belle looked at him vacantly for a moment then said, "Huh?" Poor Chevre and Jay nearly fell over in an anime fashion.

"Forget it." Jay said.

            Moments later Kale's sugar rush ended, abruptly might I add. Needless to say he became reacquainted with the ground.

"Why do I always fall over?"

"Oh, Kale! I was looking for someone to talk to, loser. I'm glad you stopped by." Kale looked up to see a surprisingly happy Yuka above him.

"Hi." He said while getting up and dusting himself off. He wasn't too happy and Yuka wasn't exactly the person to cheer him up. "'Sup?"

"Well, I got tired of my old rug so I threw it out. But shortly afterwards I noticed that I missed it and knew that I shouldn't have thrown it out. So I went to the junkyard and guess what?"

"What?" Kale said unenthusiastically.

"It was already gone! Can you believe that? I know one man's trash is another's treasure, but… it was MY trash, loser! Mine! I miss it now…"

"Ya know… I don't really care at this moment. I have a beetle to find. Later!" With that said he ran off toward the docks.

"Rude!!" Kale ignored that comment which he barely heard anyway and called for Kapp'n.

"Ahoy, me little sea biscuit! How are ye?" Kapp'n said with a twinkle in his eye.

"Um… OK I guess… I need a ride over to the island."

"Of course ye do, laddie! Whatever else do ye be callin' ol' Kapp'n over fer?" Kapp'n replied merrily before grabbing the young human and tossing him in the boat. "Hang on tight, lad! This is goin' ta be a bumpy ride!" Kale righted himself and tried not to ralph over the side of the boat. "Whoa there, ye briny sea monkey! Don't be doin' that here now!"

"Sorry."

"No problem, matey! What be ye problem this fine morn? Ye usually be king o' da sea, ye know what I be sayin' now?"

"Uh… yeah. I just had way too much sugar today."

"Ah! I know what ye be sayin'! I onced ate me a whole bowl full of the finest sugar known to any kappa alive in a matter of mere minutes! Chugged it, as ye young landlubbers say nowadays."

"Uh… that only really applies to dri…"

"All the other kappa marveled at me majestic display of manliness, I tells you! Oh it were a sight to see it were! Indeed." Kale looked at the kappa in sort of disbelief before starting another conversation; seemingly debating in his mind if he should venture down that road.

"Hey um, Kapp'n? Aren't you going to serenade me with one of your songs?" Kale dared to ask.

"Not this time, me land-lovin' hairless ape. We be at Death Island already! On the ride back I promise ye a brand-spankin' new song yer ears ain't never heard before." Kale nodded, wondering if that was a good thing or not. Without another word Kapp'n so "lovingly" threw Kale out of the boat onto the dock. "Get ye be goin' already, boy! No time like the present to venture new land!" Kale looked back at the bizarre kappa before getting up again.

"That freak. I WAS getting out of the boat! And I've already been here before!" He muttered to himself. "I hope I have better luck finding that beetle here on the island."

"Well hello, Kale. It is always good to see your face, oro?. How have you been these past days in which I have seen no sign of you? Not that I was secretly worried for your well being, or anything strange like that." Doby greeted.

"Hey Doby. I'm fine; just looking for a jewel beetle."

"Ah. I haven't seen one of those yet this year. I think you'll have better luck on the mainland." Kale grumbled at his cursed luck. "I have faith you'll find it though. Good, luck, oro?!"

"Thanks…" Was Kale's dismal reply as he boarded Kapp'n's boat once more.

"Are ye ready to be goin' already now? Ye move fast, kiddo. Welp, let's get goin' then, just two manly men at sea we be!" Once out to sea the kappa began his new song.

"Oh me mum said I had no life ahead of me,

Me pa never knew that I came to be.

But I have dreams on the open sea,

Where there be no one as great as me!

Say, laddie… ye have a girlfriend yet? 'Cause I know this one gal…

I love the salty, salty sea, aye.

Almost as I love me cucumber pie!

But as soon as I be landin' this boat,

You'll depart yet not leave me heart.

Mine heart as I travel the sea.

"So what do ye think of it, laddie?" Kapp'n asked rather anxiously.

"Uh… it was… very interesting, to say the least." Kale responded after a moment of thought.

"Ah good! I made it up on the spot I did!"

"I thought you already had a new song ready!"

"I only said that to make ye happy 'bout missin' out on the chance for the first song! No harm done, eh?"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Well, I be off to the briny sea!" Kapp'n said as he departed. Kale just waved in reply.

"Weirdo." After adjusting to that shock Kale set off, net in hand, to continue his search for the jewel beetle. "What a friggin' waste of time. I should have been looking for the beetle, not chatting it up with Kapp'n!"

            Another hour went by before Kale decided to rest, opting against filling back up on sugar and caffeine again. The last time showed harmful results.

"Hey Kale! How are ya, kuuuu!!!?" Pudge said, happily bounding up to the tired human. "Do you want to play some checkers with me, kuuuu!!?" Kale silently cursed as he remembered that last time Naraku was here, teaching poor Pudge to say "kuuuu!!" Sai finally got it out of Pudge that there was someone out there who could get rid of the frightening hanyou. Another youkai by the name of Sesshoumaru, who lived in Pudge's hometown, Taco, was an enemy of Naraku's and would gladly get rid of the freak and free Kale from his closet-like prison. It wasn't really something that Kale enjoyed remembering. However, Pudge and Joey would probably forever remind him of that horrific event with the word "kuuuu!!"

"Hi Pudge. I'm kinda busy right…"

"Ah! Kale! Just the sucker… er… man I was looking for!" Kale looked behind him to see Gaston standing there.

"Hi…"

"My niece has lost her ball and I need you to go look for it for me. I have to keep her entertained in the meantime. You better not say no, or I'll make you regret it!" Gaston said with a glare for measure. Kale sighed in defeat.

"Fine. I'll find her ball." Kale wondered if he would ever find that beetle. He also wondered if Gaston was telling the truth about his niece. It seemed everyone had a niece that wanted something or lost a ball. Yet he had yet to see any sign of them. _Do they even live here? Are they visiting? What the heck?!_

            Another hour later Kale found a ball that he could kick to Gaston's without losing it in that river. _All I have to do is kick this over the bridge and I'm home free!_  So he did just that and by some blessing from heaven it made it over without landing in the water. _Yes! Now to take this to Gaston._ He kicked it over to the ungrateful rabbit and got his attention.

"Hey! I got the ball!" Gaston turned around at the sound of Kale's voice.

"Oh hi, ¡Goro! Thanks for the ball but my niece already went home, and besides, this isn't even her ball." Kale looked about ready to explode but Gaston didn't seem to notice. "But I can't let all your effort go unrewarded! Here." He said handing Kale 243 bells.

"Gee, thanks." Kale mumbled. "I'll save this for a rainy day or something…"

"Good. See ya around, ¡Goro!!"

"Yeah… see ya." Kale said turning around, running into Sai in the process.

"Hey, Kale!! Look at what I found!" He said happily holding out a box. "It's a Jewel Beetle! I just found it and now I'm taking it to Blathers! Later!" Kale face-faulted and nearly fell over.

"Why!!!??? WHYYYYYYY!!!!!???? What did I do to deserve this?!!! What next?!!" As soon as his rant was over rain started to poor down on his sad, little head along with thunder and lightning. "I just HAD to freakin' ask!!"

The end.

So get lost! There's nothin' left, a'ight? J/K!


End file.
